There's nothing worse than winning the argument but loosing the respect of your opponent. Regardless of how good your rationality for being vegan - or any other point you wish to make - is, if you present yourself in the wrong way you will not change minds, just upset them.
"What would have made us more receptive to the ideas veganism has to offer?"
Most of us who are vegan today used to eat meat, drink milk, eat eggs and cheese, wear leather, and do numerous other things that we wouldn't dream of doing now our eyes are open. We need to remember this when engaging others in discussion. Rewind the clock to our pre-vegan days and what would have made us more receptive to the ideas veganism has to offer?
My first exposure to openly vegan people didn't do much for me. They were generally shouting, looked scruffy and were waving around pictures of tortured animals.
What did that have to do with me? I wasn't one of the great un-washed and I certainly didn't torture animals.
These days I don't feel a lot has changed. There is still this general perception of a vegan as an unshaved, unemployed, unproductive...and a bunch of other words beginning with "un", high on drugs living in a tent somewhere. The first comment I usually get when people find out I'm vegan is "Wow, you don't seem the sort!" to which I generally laugh and explain that we don't all have two heads.
"Match and mirror."
This gives me the opportunity to engage people as an equal. In sales there is a technique known as "match and mirror," basically what it boils down to is that you are much more likely to listen to (and do business with) someone who is similar and/or a friend.
When you engage someone on the topic of veganism, find out what matters the them. Is it the environment, animal rights, health, super-bugs, sustainability, etc. and use that angle first. Think back to the time before you were a vegan and remember how you'd have liked to be spoken to, the sort of person you'd be likely to take seriously and the respect you would have liked to have been shown.
"Find out what matters to them."
You're unlikely to get a home-run first time round, but you may well win that persons respect and change their attitude towards veganism. The next time you speak invite them over for a meal and send them home with lots of leftovers! Show them just how easy it is!
Like most other vegans I feel a lot of urgency and anger. Animals are dying in the worst ways, we need to change this now! But I didn't get to this mindset overnight, and it's unlikely that by implying someone is a murderer of baby animals we will do much other than upset them.
"It's not about proving people wrong, it's about showing people they have the power to change!"
Find out what matters to them and show them how transitioning to veganism matches exactly with their existing values. It's not about prooving people wrong, it's about showing people they have the power to change!
Really great post! This is exactly what I promote on my blog, hence the name "Vegetarian Courtesy." I want to teach beginning vegans and vegetarians to not judge others so harshly the way that they might be judged, or to rant to people about animal facts that they simply don't want to hear. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and one should not make themselves look like a fool just to prove a point to someone who does not even care.
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