Tough Times

Sometime life throws us a tough few days, weeks or even years! This last week has been quite rough for me, to start with I had to have some dental work done. Unfortunately when I went in for stage one a couple of weeks ago the anesthesia wore off.

It started out as a mild discomfort then started to really smart. The dentist changed the drill head went back in and it was like lighting hit my mouth! Crack! Starting from my tooth, pain traveled at light speed along my spine, making my fingers and toes shake and tingle. Luckily it was over in an instant. She took the drill out and injected the roof of my mouth, "now this might hurt...quite a bit," the dentist said before she stuck the needle in. Anyway, as uncomfortable as it was it was all over in a few minutes.

This time when I went back in, I wasn't really too worried. I knew that worst case it would be sharp pain and in a few moments it would be over. Oh, why didn't my body agree with my brain? As soon as I sat down my back feels like a clammy waterfall. Regardless of how much I rationalized it and knew there was nothing to be scared of, I was terrified! Fortunately it went better this time and was relatively pain free. The dentist - a superstar - even asked for my cell number and called me at about 8:30pm to see if I was ok!

There's also the US Department of Homeland Security to worry about. I need to apply to remove the conditions on my residency in the US, provide a whole heap of paperwork and pay $590 for the privilege. Last time I dealt with them it was a process that was meant to take three months that ended up taking nine months during which time I was unable to work. Goodbye life savings! I'd call them to check on the progress, wait on hold for 45 minutes, would ask one question, they'd answer and hang up - I had more questions than that! This happened more than once.

Anyhow, good news they collected the money from the check and wrote to me saying they'd extend the green card by one year (which now means I have to carry my green card and a letter of explanation of why it's expired around with me) while they investigate my case. apparently it'll take about nine months. I'm not so sure why it takes so long since I've provided them with all of the documentation required and paid $590...but there you go.

Then there was work on Thursday. Another guy at the office started about a month before me, being the new guys we really hit it off and became close friends. A few months ago I was promoted and ended up becoming his manager. It seemed he was doing his job well until I was called into the CEO's office on Thursday.

My CEO (I report directly to him) showed me a report that shone a pretty harsh light on the shortcomings of my colleague, as a result of which I was told to get rid of him that day. I ended up calling one of my best friends into the office to fire him. It made me feel sick, because I know right now is a very difficult time for him personally with various family problems, so loosing his job was the last thing he needed.

Next is my family - my mum is going though a very difficult time right now.  On Tuesday she called me in tears to let me know she was dying.  Things seem to be a little better since then, all I can say is it's tough being so far away!

So that's where I am right now. I'm not going to pretend it's worse than it is, because I'll be ok, but it's been a difficult week. All of this reminds me of what caused me to become vegetarian. It was before I came to the States and I was at a real low point. Now whatever I go though to I can think back to the and think "well, if I survived that then I can get though this!"

It must have been nearly five years ago, I was sat down eating a chicken sandwich and worried sick with my own problems. I looked at the meat in that sandwich and realized that now matter how bad things were for me things had been a whole lot worse for that chicken. I'd have done just about anything to get out of my situation, yet here I am causing something a whole lot worse, and because of what...I liked the taste of it?

I cared so much for my own life and those of my loved ones, but I had complete disregard for the lives of the animals I ate. From that point on I realized I no longer had any moral justification for eating meat, and since then it's never even crossed my mind that I made the wrong decision. What sort of a person would I be to want to kill animals just for my own pleasure? That was the last chicken sandwich I ever had.

Several months later veganism was explained to me (by my hero!) there was no additional thought required. From that moment on I was vegan! How could I defend my stance that animals should not be killed and abused and still support the veal industry, the massacre of fluffy male chicks who go "peep, peep, peep!" I had no other recourse other than to become vegan.

The worse things get for me, the more it opens my eyes to the range of suffering that is possible, and the less it makes me want to be part of the suffering of others.